If you hear win-win, run!

Namely, it's often completely unnecessary to theorize about skill development. After all, everyone does so well. The practical implementation is what faces difficulties. However, there is one topic that seems to have been poorly established theoretically for us.

That is striving for a win-win.

There's nothing wrong with it per se. The problem arises if you plan to use it as an argument during a negotiation.

I was at a sales training for the first time 17 years ago (Jesus, why am I admitting this?), and I heard this for the first time. It was a Scotwork training, by the way, and I still claim that you won’t find better negotiation training in the world. Geniuses. Well, perhaps our guys, but this might seem somewhat biased :) If you weren't so lucky to get to the right place at first, you can catch up now. It's a super easy rule, just stick to it.

WE DON’T SAY THAT I STRIVE FOR WIN-WIN. NEVER. ESPECIALLY NOT IN THE FIRST 10 MINUTES OF THE NEGOTIATION.

Mm. That's it.

I’ll explain exceptionally, although you could really look it up in today’s world why it is recommended this way by really trained negotiators. By declaring that you strive for win-win, you also automatically put out that it occurred to you that the other one would think, that it won’t be a win-win, at all. Wow. What a sentence. But if you read it again, you’ll understand. It’s like asking your husband if your hair is turning gray. Well, what should he say to that? But don’t expect him to see it brown afterward.

There are quite a few negotiation gurus in the world, my favorites are Chris Voss and Jim Camp, they are worth reading, and it's also worth following Voss, as he's alive, publishes, podcasts. And he can negotiate really well. In his interviews, he usually phrases that there are a few red flags in the world that he always jumps on, one of these is this. When he hears someone saying that they strive for a win-win.

Just as he would never say such a thing, never.

By the way, you’re obviously right that we don’t usually negotiate with Chris Voss-style FBI hostage negotiators, neither as buyers nor as sellers. However, we can still learn from them. Because when you say you strive for a win-win, you don’t tell the truth per definition, as you have no idea what the 'win' is for the other person. You have some information about it, you have a perception of what would make them happier, what they need, when would they feel good after closing the deal.

But you can't know exactly what that is.

I didn’t intend to write a book recommendation now, just wanted to plant this one thought, so I’ll stop here. However, Start with NO and Never Split the Difference are must-reads, if you haven’t done so, get started!*

*And if you come again saying that you can't read because you're too tired, and because you look at the pages and your brain doesn’t get it, and blabla, then the next episode will be about why it is so, and what you can do about it. Until then, keep fighting, because you have to read, learn, and that's it :)